This blog is for literally everyone. I share what is going on in my daily life, I talk about my opinions on the world, and I share pictures and videos and things for your entertainment. Sorry if I am boring (I may or may not be extremely boring and awkward) but if you don't like me, feel free to leave at any time. But just know, I will find all the haters and trolls, kidnap you, lock you in my basement, then blend you in a blender until a liquid has been reached and then sell you to the public as "Haterade." Thanks guys ^_^

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Monday, March 25, 2013

Friday, March 22, 2013

skyping!!!!! 3-22-13

skypin with my friends lolololol ones name is joejoe the other is clairebear

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

ooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwyyyy! 3-19-13

my nose is burning from  all the times i blew my nose today. help me! I FUCKING HATE ALLERGIES!!!

Monday, March 18, 2013

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Friday, March 15, 2013

ARENACROSS!!!! 3-15-13

YEAH!!!!!! GOD FUCKING DAMNIT DAVE!! I HAZ THAT SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD!! I JUST CAME BACK FROM ARENACROSS!! BE GOD FUCKING DAMNIT JEALOUS!

Thursday, March 14, 2013

I haz project due today... 3-15-13

im gonna go to the counselling office with my bro claire and we are gonna tell the counselor that i need a therapist and a mental hospital and a buttload of pills. oh, and i have a project due today...


.....

it only gets better from here, right?

I am a wallflower 3-14-13

I'm a wallflower.... I am a wallflower.... don't cry, god damn it.....

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

tcapzzez 3-12-13

the tcapz werent thta hard honestly! and it was the math portion too :)

i have tcaps tomorrow... 3-12-13

i have this huge ass test tomorrow. you know the tcaps in colorado, or meaps in michigan. yeah, well thats tomorrow, and i cant sleep. aw shit fuck bastard bitch hoe....

Monday, March 11, 2013

sick :S 3-11-13

ewwy i have a bloody vagina, a sore throat, a stomach ache, headaches, stuffy/runny nose, and i have a bunch of bruises from sledding yesterday

Sunday, March 10, 2013

bored so bad 3-10-13

i had krispy kream for breakfast today, along with some kit kats, and technically snow when i went over the bump on my sled, and snow went all over my face

Thursday, March 7, 2013

O_o... 3-7-13 again

i don't know if i should be flattered or scared that a bisexual likes me....

dinner convo! 3-7-13

this is our conversation at dinner!

brian: i'm glad i haven't died from a burglar
me: i don't think burglars kill people
maggie: yeah, murderers do that
me: wouldn't that make them a murdalergaler?
* eruption of laughter*

I'm a genius :)

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

YAY!!! 2-6-13

YAAAAAAY!!!! i told carson that i still like him and... here. here's our convo:

ME:
ugh, whyd this have to happen to us? why not other people?
HIM:
Ikr it sux
ME:
well, this is gonna sound really cheesy, but i heard this saying once and it said, "You were blessed so many positive things, your voice, your looks, your personality, that God had to make it fair for everyone, so he gave you ADD depression and bipolar disorder."
HIM:
Nice that explains u
ME:
aww, thanks :') in your situation, it's you're so strong, and lovable, and nice, and sweet, and perfectly imperfect in every way, that He had to give you these things, just like me
HIM:
I wish lol
ME:
are you kidding?! you're strong. when im sad, even if you're sad, you come up to me and try to console me. you're lovable. i just wanna pick you up and squeeze the life outta you until you say you love me back. you're nice and sweet. even when you're picking on me, you're still making me stronger, and you just give me these puppy dog eyes that makes me want to say im sorry a billion times until you forgive me. you're perfectly imperfect. all your imperfections and flaws make you who you are, and i don't want you to change a single thing, because if you do, i might not have a carson to love anymore
....that sounded really stalker and creepy... didn't that? im sorry that was kinda supposed to stay inside me...
im sorry. please don't think im a weirdo and not talk to me...
oh joy... another friendship ruined because of the dumbass shit that comes out of my mouth
please carson, just answer me, anything at all
why did i have to do this? why couldn't it have just stay in my brain?
well, i... i guess goodnight. see you thusrday... maybe
please... just don't hate me... you're the only person in this entire universe that understands me like you do. please......
i just need a little guidence and acceptance...
HIM:
Hey im on my phone on facebook laying in my bed when I message u so if I dont respond and it is late then I feel sleep I thought what u said was super sweet
ME:
hey broshif. i hope you respond because its not super late
so... you arent creeped out out about wat i said?
meh. get on! i have to tell you the story of me at the hard rock cafe. you'll pee yourself. i know i almost did
HIM:
No I'm not creeped and gtg to the mall
ME:
have fun. i was so nervous that ud hate me or something
Chat Conversation End


isn't he loooovly!? isn't he woooondderrrrrrful!?

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

therapists 3-5-13

i'm waiting in the counselling office waiting for my therapist to come back. yes... i have a therapist. and yes... i hate my life. i would be happy to take anyone else's place, anyone, than be here, being depressed and bipolar and OCD and ADD and insomniatic. i just kinda wanna sit here in the corner of the room, make some poetry and cry. too bad the weight of the world is on my shoulders and if i step out for one second, the world will come crashing down. so i, a lonely, desperate girl in need of a little love and care and comforting, weep under a world of defeat and sorrow.

Monday, March 4, 2013

the poem of my life 2-4-13

this poem describes my life. all credit goes to Dott Gibbons, quite a talented young woman whose in the exact same position as me. this one's for all the people out there who have it ruff... we have to stick together


Help Me...
Hello world.
I'm glad you stopped to read this.
I just need a little guidance from a friend
Or even a complete stranger.
People ask me
“Why are you so depressed all the time?”
Sometimes I wish I could just reply this:
“What? You're asking me why I'm depressed all the time?
Well, let's start with the basics.
My life at home sucks.
My two older sisters were a disgrace to the family
And my parents a relying on me
To be perfect in every way possible.
Get straight A's
Act like an angel
Stay at home and do nothing except good
Be prompt and ready when need be.
I'm just one little girl.
A little girl with more than one issues.
I don't get straight A's
More like straight D's.
I don't act like an angel
I'm a teenager, I'm going to rebel a bit.
I don't stay at home and do nothing but good
I do want to do things
And I do quite a bit of good
But I will act out ever now and then.
I'm not prompt and ready when need be
I have a life
I will be out and about when I want
And I can't just be sentenced to a duty I had no knowledge of a day before.
I'm not perfect.
I'm just me.
Isn't that good enough?
I guess it doesn't help the fact that I have ADD
And OCD
And slight insomnia
And bipolar disorder
And dysthymia.
I was born with it.
I can't control them.
When God was making me,
He added to much freak and too little normal.
And with the diseases
Come the names from the bitches and normal people.
And I wonder,
'How would they like it,
If they had five diseases they couldn't control?'
Yeah
They wouldn't like it.
And that brings me to the subject
Of my friends.
Four of my friends
All from way different sides of the spectrum on my friendship scale
Cut....
Yeah.
You heard me.
They slit their wrists to release their pain
When they don't know half the shit I put up with for them.
One has depression.
One does it, and denies it
Even though they admitted it to all of us once.
One does it, and just hides in shame and heavy metal music.
One does it with their nails, only when they're mad
And they are very perky and bright.
And I'm in the corner of shame,
Promising that I won't tell because they say they'll get better,
Continuously watching their blood fall from their wrists and onto the floor.
They're all very different people too.
One is one of my best guy friends.
The other I don't really talk to.
Another of them used to be best friends with me,
Until they told me what they do.
One, still just confused in 7th grade.
And seeing the marks and scars up their arms from their actions
Makes me want to cry,
Knowing there is nothing I can do to stop them.
But I can't.
I have no more tears to cry.
My eyes dried out a long time ago.
And that reminds me,
Why was I cursed with all of this burden and regret?
Was it because God knew that I could handle it?
Because I know I can't.
Was it because fate decided to make me from the screw-up batch?
Because that batch should've just been thrown out.
Was it because the world decided that no one would like me
So they just made me miserable?
Because that's just not fair to me.
Sometimes I just wanna run away.
Run away from my family,
My friends,
My diseases,
My entourage of haters that haunt my being,
The world seemingly resting in my hands,
The string of bad luck and hatred for life.
If I could run away from that,
Just for a day,
I might not even come back.
But I would have to.
There are lives depending on who I am.
Without me,
They might worsen,
Or remind themselves that their lives are worth living
And succeed at the job of killing themselves,
Which would make me the most selfish person in the history of selfish people.
I have a job to do
And if I don't complete the tasks at hand
I would fail,
Putting people at risk.
And if that happened,
I wouldn't be able to live myself.
I know I need help,
But if I leave for a second,
Everyone's world will come crashing down
Including my own.
Poetry is like a little escape.
It helps me smile a blunt, halfhearted grin
For a moment of happiness.
But it still doesn't cure my responsibilities away.
I'm like a single snowflake.
Gorgeous and grieving,
Dancing and depressed,
Falling and faithful.
One of many snowflakes,
But deprived of a life worth living.
So it falls to the ground,
Waiting for the sun to come up,
To melt it away,
Away from the burden
Away from the pain
Away from the responsibility
And hope
And oblivion
And ambition,
Watching the others fade too.

>O< 3-4-13

gawd i feel like crap. it feels like i have menstrual craps in my stomach with hurts like holy hell... i also found out one of my friends cuts... oh joy... that makes 4 people i know that cuts

Sunday, March 3, 2013

:P 2-3-13

:P i so bored is is considering going to the gym...

still skyping with Jenny!!! 3-3-13

yeah, i cant sleep cuz i heard noises and now i just told here my vagina's name is Shaniqua.... thats what happens when you play 25 questions :P

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Friday, March 1, 2013

holy shit!!!!! 3-1-13

AHHHHH! I JUST FOUND OUT WHO MY BISEXUAL FRIEND LIKES!!!! She likes one f her best friends, that is so friggin exciting!!!!!